


Anything? Anything

by CastheNerdfighter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff, But a lovable one, Cas is tired of Dean's bullshit, Charlie to the rescue, Dean is an Idiot, DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Dorks in Love, Eileen Leahy Lives, Establishing Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, One-Shot, Safe For Work, Sammy shipper, fight me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-10 16:43:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11695749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastheNerdfighter/pseuds/CastheNerdfighter
Summary: Dean's gotten pretty good over the year at figuring out when Cas is lying to him. It also helps that his best friend - freshly human - has too much to worry about to be covert. But what will happen when he confronts Cas and tells him he can tell him anything?





	Anything? Anything

Dean has gotten better at figuring out when Cas is lying to him.

Honestly, after nearly a decade of knowing the guy - angel - whatever he is now - he should be better at it. But he's always had a blindspot for the sweet yet dangerous, kind but passionate, utterly lovable and strange  _Castiel._ Sam is better, but no matter how often he points it out, Dean just can't see it. 

The first time he remembers was when Cas was hanging out with Crowley, that is to say, the  _first_ time he was hanging with Crowley. He still shivers to think that Cas might be in the room without him noticing. What else has Cas seen before he made himself known? Dean worries about that more than he'll ever admit.

Needless to say they skipped Superman on their binge of pop culture.

The most recent time, Cas was more obvious. Him returning the mixtape, Dean realized later, was just an excuse for being caught snooping. Looking back, it was painfully obvious. As Sam said, he "couldn't even look us in the eye."

 

But it's been years since Cas did something that stupid. After he and Sam found Cas in the motel room (he still can't believe Cas' truck broke down), they managed to get Cas and Kelly back to the bunker, and they successfully removed the grace from Kelly's baby. Cas trapped Dagon, and used her to contact Lucifer. They managed to convince Crowley and Rowena to put Lucifer back in the cage - for good this time.

A few months later, when the baby, _Jack_ , was born completely human, Kelly went on her way. She stayed with Jody for a few more months, before moving on with her life. As far as he knows, she's happy in a new job with a non-devil boyfriend.

Mom came back from the British Men of Letters, and they left the bunker. It wasn't safe if Ketch or some other douche could just stroll right in. They took a few things, Dean's mattress, some books, the more rare of the weapons stored there. And Dorothy's bike. Because you never know. They bought a house and lived together for a while, and Mary started teaching at the local high school. The made it work.

It all seems long ago, and it's true their days of apocalypses are over. Sam is in school - not Stanford, but a good local school - to become a lawyer. Mary moved out and started dating another ex-hunter, so Dean doesn't worry about her too much, except when she goes months without visiting. Dean still hunts with Cas, but occasionally he mumbles about settling down and maybe opening up a small garage for himself.

The only problem is Cas.

Who is human now.

It happened slowly in the months after the whole Lucifer's baby thing, and under pressure, Cas had admitted that it had been happening slowly over the years, but being Lucifer's vessel had worsened it. It took a few more months, and on a Tuesday morning, Cas woke up a human. 

After Cas fell, Dean tried to distract Cas from his new mortality. Cas seemed... quiet. Unnaturally so. When pressed, Cas admitted that he was sad to no longer see Dean's soul. This made Dean chuckle, but Cas was serious.

So Dean found every distraction imaginable. For all his millennia as an angel, Cas hadn't actually gotten out that much. And what with the apocalypse of the week always looming over their head, Dean hadn't had much time to enlighten him.

But now he had all the time in the world.

For a few months it was great. Dean ignored the feelings that always crept up when Cas was near, and introduced him to every comfort he knew, and more. Sam took him to libraries, where Cas corrected books in sharpie, and Dean took him to state fairs, where Cas nearly lost his corndog on the tile-a-wirl. Mary took Cas to her school to show off his knowledge, and Cas enjoyed hanging out with the kids. Mostly they did odd jobs, visited old friends, hunted a few ghosts. The monsters of the world were getting quiet, and they had a lot of free time to fill. And Dean had feelings to repress.

But after almost a year, Cas seemed to get restless. He couldn't decide what he wanted to do - hunter or settle down? Dean kept hunting, but more and more Cas stayed home.

After two years of this, in which Dean also stopped hunting almost all together, Dean had had enough. Something needed to change.

And it got better, it did. Just, it wasn't what Dean wanted.

But Dean couldn't have what he wanted.

Cas left for a month or two, travelling and sending postcards. When he came back he was tan and travel worn, and proclaimed that he wanted to become a professor.

By then Sam was a lawyer with his own practice, and he and Dean quickly made him fake credentials. 

And he was happy.

For a while.

Which gets us back to the lying.

Dean, home after shutting up his garage, was waiting on Cas or Sam to come home. He's hungry, but they get mad at him if he doesn't wait for at least one of them before he makes dinner.

Grumbling, Dean wanders into the kitchen to scrounge for a snack in the meantime. He comes up with a beer instead, and when he closes the fridge door, he spots Cas sitting at the kitchen table.

"Woah, man!" He'll never get used to that.

But Cas just looks at him strangely, well, more strangely than usual. Dean almost offers him a beer, one of the weird brands Cas likes, when his best friend abruptly stands up and walks out the back door. 

It leads to the garden, which Cas likes to tend. It also has a beehive, so Dean doesn't go out there. It's more of Cas' sanctuary anyway.

Counting this weird encounter as enough to go ahead and make dinner, Dean turns on the stove top. Tonight he's making cheesy Quesadillas. Sam walks into the kitchen as he's scooping the last on a plate and sprinkling the stack with a lime wedge. Sam makes a joke along the lines of  "what is this, top chef?" as he always does, but Dean just grins and takes a bite out of the top most quesadilla. He drips cheese all over the counter, but Sam just smiles back. They're good.

But Sam has something on his mind. "Hey, man, what's up with Cas?" Sam asks as he grabs some chips and salsa from the pantry.

Dean furrows his brow. "What do you mean, what's up?" He hadn't noticed anything unusual. Or, more unusual than, well, usual.

"I dunno.  Don't you think he's been acting weird lately? I don't want to confront him, but I think he's hiding something." Sam drops the subject abruptly when he spots Cas walking back to the kitchen door.

They chow down quickly, downing a couple of light beers. It's Friday, the only day Sam allows himself more than one beer, and also the only day he's home anymore. He's been bouncing between Dean and Cas' house and Eileen's for months. It's annoying.

"Where's Eileen?" Dean asks nonchalantly.

"She's having a girl's night with Charlie and Dorothy. By the way, Dorothy wants her bike back."

Dean may have forgotten to tell Dorothy that he still had her bike when she got back from Oz. Oops. "Tell her she has to come over and get it. It's been too long since I've seen those crazy chicks."

Cas is quiet through this and the following conversation. He's usually quiet, but today it seems to hover over Dean like a cloud that he can't shake.

That night, he doesn't sleep well, despite his memory foam mattress. He can feel Cas' presence in the room next to him as if there were no wall seperating them. And for the millionth time he feels the pull, the need to... to what exactly?

Lying in his bed late at night is the only time Dean allows himself to travel down dangerous roads. His feelings haunt him, follow him wherever he goes, but especially on nights like this.

 _It's the anniversary of Cas falling_ , Dean remembers with a start.  _God, and I didn't even say anything. Cas must be feeling terrible._

And it's remembering this that allows Dean to harden against his selfish feelings. Cas deserves better than him. And yes, he can admit to himself that he wants Cas, that he wants more than friendship. They've been through so much together, and Cas is  _amazing,_ is so fucking  _awesome_ , how could he not fall in love?

But why would Cas want him back?

It was Dean who led Cas down a path to rebellion, which led to Cas getting trapped in purgatory, and being possessed by Lucifer, and all the thousand other terrible things that had happened to Cas over the course of 8 years, _because of Dean._ And now Cas, once a magnificent and powerful being, had lost his wings. And for what? For one lousy human?

It was thought spirals like these that kept Dean up late.

He sleeps in that morning, since he never opens the shop on Saturday mornings. But he is surprised to see Cas sitting at the kitchen table reading the local paper. Usually Cas is gone to some coffee shop or Whole Foods or something on Saturdays, or else wandering the countryside with Sam on a hike that seems to Dean like more of a death march. But there he sits, looking absolutely fucking gorgeous with his hair shining in the sunlight filtering through the door -

 _Jesus, get it together Winchester._ Dean manages to shoot Cas a "good morning," and gets "it's afternoon, Dean," in return.

"Yeah well, nobody should get up before noon on a saturday anyway," Dean retorts. Cas just shrugs and hides behind his paper again.

He didn't know if Cas has eaten, but there are no dishes in the sink. He heats up a pan and makes up some bacon and french toast. He pours the fresh orange juice he's come to love in two glasses, and brings the tray of food to the small table where Cas is looking up expectantly.

Cas makes to speak when his stomach suddenly growls loudly, and he gives Dean a small smile. Dean laughs loudly before digging in, watching Cas carefully cut his food out of the corner of his eye.

After the previous night, Dean feels like shit. But Cas looks worse. His eyes have week-old bags under them, and the late breakfast only seemed to partially revive him. Cas makes to get up, presumably to take his plate to the sink, when Dean grabs his hand.

"Wait, Cas. I... I wanted to ask you something." Dean lets go of Cas as soon as he sat down, and does his best not to miss the contact.

"Okay," Cas says slowly.

"I... what's going on, buddy? Is something the matter? You've been acting... off for a while."

Cas rubs his wrist where Dean had grabbed him for several minutes before sighing and standing up. "I'm fine, Dean."

"You're obviously not. Cas, you know you can tell me anything." This seems to get Cas' attention.

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"I love you." Cas blurts out. Dean does his best not to preen at the sentiment, reminding himself that he's poison, he's garbage. Cas shouldn't love him.

Instead he gives Cas a flirty smile, saying, "that's not a secret."

But Cas is adamant, and repeats his statement, "No dean, I _love_ you," as if the emphasis changes the meaning.

"Buddy, I love you t-" Dean tries to get out, but suddenly lips were on his and then they aren't and Cas is there and now he's not.

 _What the?_ Dean has always liked Cas. For years he fell slowly but surely in love with the man, the angel, the multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent. Whatever he is. 

But how can Cas love him? Want him? It just didn't make sense. But Cas is gone, and Dean spots the door to the backyard garden open. He makes to go outside and question his best friend when he hears a knock on the door.

A second later, Charlie and Dorothy are bounding in the door, followed by Sam. "I picked them up so they could ride Dorothy's bike home," Sam explains.

Dean just stares.

An awkward moment passes. Sam rolls his eyes and walks through the kitchen to the stairs. Charlie sees Cas outside, but before she can go say hi, Dorothy kisses her on the cheak, whispering, "I'm gonna go find the bike. Be right back."

"Okay, babe," Charlie says, blushing. They've been together ever since Dorothy got back from Oz, but Charlie still blushes around her girlfriend.

"Yeah, it's in the garage," Dean manages, but Dorothy is already gone through the garage door.

"You okay, Dean? You look a little... flustered," Charlie hedges, stalking up to him.

"What? I'm fine, I'm great, I'm  _awesome._ "

"Really?"

Dean sighs. Charlie has always confided in him, so he goes for it. "Cas kissed me."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"No - wait, you're not... upset? Or at least surprised?"

"Dude, you've had serious heart eyes for him for years! The way you talk about him, you literally light up when he enters a room. It's disgusting."

Dean blushes and ducks his head. "Yeah, but just because I like him doesn't mean he should like me back. I've done nothing but hurt him. Hell, he ran out of the room as soon as he kissed me, so he must have changed his mind..."

"Dean Winchester! What are you talking about? Cas is crazy about you! Why do you think he's stuck around this long? Why do you think he's put up with you for so long?"

"I've always thought it's because he doesn't have anywhere else to go," Dean mumbles, mostly to himself.

"God, no wonder Cas is in such a funk! After so long crushing on an oblivious moron, you can't blame him for snapping. I'm just surprise he didn't make a move sooner." Charlie rubs her temples in frustration.

"Well, I haven't brought home a girl in a while. But I used to... I did at first. I... pretended it was him," Dean confesses. He doesn't know why he's confessing these things, but he trusts Charlie not to relay this  _very personal_ information, except maybe to Dorothy.

Speaking of, Dorothy wanders into,  _well more like swaggers into,_  the kitchen, wrapping her arms around Charlie. "Hey babe, what's wrong?" She shoots a playful glare at Dean.

"Oh nothing, just Dean being a  _clueless moron_." 

"Still?"

"I know, right? I mean, how long have I seen this coming?"

"Years. And they still aren't together?"

"Nope. Cas kissed Dean, but ran away before Dean could kiss him back."

"Oh, poor Cas."

"Hey, I'm right here!" Dean nearly shouts from where he's collapsed in his chair a few feet away.

"Oh, hush, boy. And fix this. Cas needs to be in tip top shape for our picnic tomorrow. We're going to teach him soccor." Dorothy turns around and submits to Charlie cleaning a streak of grease from her face.

"Yeah, so don't wear him out too bad tonight!" Charlie hollers as they let themselves out.

Dean lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding when he hears Dorothy's bike exiting the garage.

 _What do I do now?_ Dean thinks. He's repressed these feelings for so many years, it's going to take a while for him to accept them. 

He's no surer than before if they are recipricated or not, but at least he has a reason to talk to Cas about them. 

He has a chance. 

Dean is still slouching in his seat when the back door opens, and Cas steps inside. He starts when he sees Dean there, and moves to hide his hand behind his back. But Dean's already seen the bundle of colors.

"What's that?" He asks halfheartedly.

"Uhhh..." Cas looks sheepishly to the ground. "They're some flowers. For you. Flowers are customary when saying sorry, right?" Cas won't meet Dean's eye.

Dean stands up, coming up to take the flowers from Cas. "They're beautiful, Cas."  _Like you,_ he didn't say. "But what are you sorry for?"

"I kissed you."

"That you did. You also ran away. Which are you sorry for?"

Cas looks confused, and finally looks up to search Dean's face, as if the answer were written there. 

Having found a suitable answer, Cas grins and slowly leans up to make up their two inch height difference. Dean can hardly control what he's doing, but before he knows it, his lips are on Cas' and his hands are on Cas' head.

Cas moans into his mouth, 

He tastes like heaven;  _no, that place sucks_. He tastes like freedom, like honey and flowers, like spring and hope. He tastes like home.

Eventually, mortals as they are, they separate to catch ragged breaths. Dean still can't believe this is happening, and apparently, neither can Cas.

"Cas," he starts.

"Shut up, Dean. Just, shut the fuck up." 

And Cas is back to attacking his mouth. It's wet, it's sloppy, it's awesome. It's Cas. They finally make their way back to Dean's bedroom, barely closing the door behind them. Dean is rubbing his hands all over Cas. Over his shirt, sneaking under. Through his wild, messy hair. Down farther, barely ghosting fingers but it's enough for Cas to gasp.

He's wanted this for so long. It's like a dream. An impossible, terrifying dream.

"Are you sure?" Dean stops and sits Cas down on the bed. Close, so close.

Cas just wrinkles his forehead in the way that drives Dean crazy. "Dean, I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

And with that Cas knocks Dean back on the bed. Dean is nearly hysterical with laughter he's so happy, and Cas just swallows his joy down with kisses.

Sam leaves the house as soon as he hears Dean's door slam shut. He shoots a text to Dorothy on his way out. 

"Operation Deancas a success!"

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like! Leave me some love with kudos or a comment :)


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